How To Avoid Crash And Burn Relationships

How many times have you or a friend experienced a relationship that began like gangbusters, continued beautifully without a hiccup or even a disagreement, and ended when someone suddenly ends things for no good goddamn reason?

I cannot tell you how many people come to therapy shell-shocked, struggling to understand why, feeling victimized by someone they trusted and felt safe with. So, in my struggle to lend some rhyme and reason to what happened — beyond the knee-jerk empathy in the standard therapist toolbox — I see that there are certain characteristics that make one more vulnerable to those Machiavellian, sociopathic narcissists, most of whom tend to be charming and skilled in hunting and seducing their prey.

These characteristics revolve around a tendency TO FALL IN LOVE, HARD AND QUICKLY AND OFTEN. A psychologist at the University of Nebraska (Reno), Dan Jones, has named this syndrome “emophilia.” He found that people with higher levels of this trait do not need long acquaintance or higher compatibility or common longer-term goals before falling head over heels. But, wait a second, what’s so wrong with falling in love this way? Nothing, if you’re lucky enough to connect with a decent, caring, self-aware human being. To check out your emophiliac tendencies (or those of the person you are or were with), see how you relate to the following…