The Five Habits Of Highly Happy Couples

Even if you were lucky enough to have won the birth lottery and enjoyed supportive, engaged parents, that’s no guarantee that your intimate relationships would be easy. Unfortunately, most of what we learn comes from failure. I have had the privilege, after 25 years in private practice as a couples counselor, to see that highly happy couples have much in common in how they manage their reationships.

1. BRINGING UP DISSATISFACTION IN A TIMELY MANNER

Highly happy couples learn how to manage, not harbor, grudges and resentments, both of which are inevitable in long-term relationships. Yet, no one can dispute how tempting it can be to bring up in the heat of the moment all the stuff that has been bugging the hell out of you for a while. While perhaps satisfying in that moment, presenting a laundry list of past complaints never results in an ounce of caring coming back your way.

In order to resist unloading on your partner, you should never bring up anything negative that is over 24 hours old. If you were not aware of or assertive enough to bring something up in that time period, you lose the right to ever mention it again. Forever! Couples routinely balk at this rule, protesting that since it’s a pattern of behavior one should be able to reference the past. Well, if it’s a pattern, the crappy behavior is bound to recur, at which…